Well. yes of cause. She said sorry right after she left with a new guy. How will it ever fix a broken heart...or a broken dream..once its broken.

I think the word sorry has always been just a word...it never really solve a problem in any real situation.
yet sorry can sometimes be the hardest word to say...

so i think..the harder for it to be said..
and when you actually said it...
is when you've actually really meant it.

Okay. Today I did some toning to my muscles that have gone weak over the months. I have been on an "eat whatever I like" diet. Now I have switched to salad diet...which is preferably a healthier choice. Okay I know I am skinny...but I am categorize under the "unhealthy skinny"...away with junk food fer now. This is to prepare myself before I take up rugby...I am so excited. :D okay okay. Dee dee is really expecting a banner.. I thought she was kidding. -_-" Alright..wyncy doesn't seem too happy with our progression on the rh project...felt a little bad..guilt strike me..I will go put in some effort. Smile and you'll look prettier. Over this weekends I will be working on so many things..that I'll prolly lose some sleep as well. Okay cheryl is about to kill me. Shes coming over and I am not really to leave yet.

its time..I stop joking about certain stuff..cause looking at the big picture...the war already begun.

I have much decided to go private since I quite conscious about ppl reading my posts...and resulting to my inability to say some stuff people shouldn't be hearing. That only applies to a minority which affects me even though.

thats the last thing I want ppl to do.
manipulate me.


byebye.

Just a few moments ago I was in front of some really build girls. I was standing in front of touch rugby booth. HS was with me...and I looked innocently at the sign up list that was going towards me.My mind harboured a few last thoughts. Should I? Theres still a turning back you know? Ah since I'm here already stick with the plan idert. OKay I held the list and gripped hold of the pen and wrote my name...my contact...my email..while my eyes ventured into the names on the list..Joanne..hmm..isn't she? hmm. ok..cool. Someone from design at least. hehe looked up when I was done...I smiled and said "thanks.." its done. She ask if I was coming to watch the match this evening. Then suddenly it strike me that I have lessons from 6-9pm. Okay I am gonna look fer my lecturer and ask her if i can join the morning class instead. :) pray she'll say yes to my little request. But I will go on tues to support Dee dee...she'll be having a match.woots.

tonight I will rush Racial harmony design.
tomorrow I will be working out at the gym again. I need a right knee guard. a really good one.

okay I have a quiz to revise on. bye you monkey.

This post goes to my beloved ex girlfriend.

I know saying sorry for what I've said that possibly made you feel as rejected as I feel inside wouldn't make any sound. You probably wouldn't understand why I did what I did. My bold attempt to do what I will never do. Cause everytime I do the things I do..I end up hurt and all. You will say its being selfish...but looking at the picture not meeting fer now.. would be good fer us. I know your sick and there shouldn't be any excuses. I don't know If I can be your friend. I am not strong anymore to take another blow from a potential striker. Half-life. Strangely I recover when I am away from you. Have you ever got this feeling like being choked up inside...you can't breathe or think straight? I don't know why I have to lie and put a fake front just to make myself look stronger than I really am. I really wanna break free you know? I am not a free man like I want to be. I have my reasons. Trust me.

I choose to walk away. maybe the cut in my heart is deeper than you think it is. right now..I dont really feel a thing fer you right now and I want it to stick to that. every time we meet again..is like watching my heart being cut open over and over again. Sometime later we'll meet.

just leave me the last good impression of you.

love,
chris.

Alrights, blogging would be the most effective activity I can do right now trying to kill another 2 and a half hr. With a battery life of merely an hr..(which is sucha bullshit cause it dies faster than what it states. I wonder what I'll do after I watch my battery die out on me. You won't wanna read this post because I am about to talk nothing but crap. Guess what the hell I'ma wearing? Seriously..I wanna just hide at a corner of tp..make sure no one spots me. freaking..blue crew tees, black cardigan over..and freaking adi sports shorts. I look like a freaking idert who lost some fashion sense and colour coordination. Cause why.. I just came back from gym...and theres no way I will make that 2hr trip back home just to get a proper attire back to school. Damn. I can only leave at 9 looking at how things are right now. And I m far too embarrass to make a trip to rugby booth so that I could sign myself up and turning back to hear people bitch about me.tsk. I ran more than 5 kilometres today at the gym. I can totally feel my legs falling apart..the muscles have all gone wobbly. Now I dread walking down stairs. Subway diet and back to school in my horrible state. People are wondering why. Yeah my eyes will answer the calls to even the least curiousity in every being that brush across my shoulder of pain. And I can't stop sweating right now. I am pissed. pissed and so damn pissed. I should and will next time bring another pair of pants along. Save me from this discomfort oh lord. okay. maybe I am paranoid or smth. k no. The fun fair in tp brings back bad memories. Now its giving out free bottled diet coke...the school is getting generous. Alright snap snap. Move the bloody clock. forward..forward I say.good gracious..2 hrs more. I'm gonna keep going at this. So if you're beginning to get bored..please exit now. Its not ending just yet. Oh I had jacob's creek at vincent's place just a moment ago..that explains why I am a little crappy. Another thing. I really hate my phone. I'm gonna murder it once I get iphone to replace it. N91 is a bloody failure and disgrace to all technology of today. It shuts down like a bitch as it likes with no warning. And worse of all..its purpose might be just to piss one's soul. Great..it claims that its empty now. I charged the phone 8hrs last night. "let a bitch be a bitch".~ tsk. Sigh sigh..In another half an hour I will head to the lab. Honestly..my right leg hurts. Maybe I pushed a little too hard. Click clack.. and its out...click clack and the bones went back together. The human anatomy. :) Alright..I'm typing at a snail speed..half an hour more to go! :D

Now what I really feel like doing is to lie somewhere in the middle of the meadows. with my feet buried under the tall grass. field mice in their hiding place. My left hand just below my head. Watching the clouds fast-forward itself pass the magnolia white sky. jumping bunnies chasing one another. butterflies roaming around sweet scented flowers. birds chirping away. just beside of me...that very special someone to spend the whole evening with me right there. Where my right hand is...would be holding on to hers. both of our faces carrying the same smile. our heart beating as one...

then will I lie there forever.

I am happy. Cause I made a decision today to join tp rugby. I was
bouncing around in school today..and my lady luck....I saw hueysi.
She enrolled into tp not too long ago. Well double lucky. She also
joining rugby. We are like trackers that became too sick of running
we're like changing lines. Dee dee...dee dee ... I am gonna ask her
more about it as soon as I see her online. But I am quite firm about
it. It'll be a challenge..exciting. Okay. I am still bouncing around
now. Alright leadership classes today has been good. Did I tell you
that this class is damn rah rah. Angie's voice is damn loud. haha.
But I like it. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's lesson. Gym in the
morning..I've got to squeeze some butter out of my body...Vincent
says we need to go on a subway diet...burning calories. I'll train
myself to rest early and manage my schedules. I am starting to
really wanna live healthy. Cherish is coming back this 6th of may.
Hmm..I am gonna get her a welcome gift. What should I get?..

any suggestions?

goodnight fer now my love.

We...often.... find excuses for our own failures.

School has begun. Minda has got director's list. I am indeed very happy fer him...at the same time filled with envy... I guess I didn't work hard enough. Why let personal affairs and heart distress affect the quality of my work...feel really stupid now. He have made it. And...I am gonna give myself a chance to prove myself..I can do it...even if it takes me to do it all alone.

Genesis today...ended 2 hours later. Piggyback on vincent on his little midget bike. went tcc to eat ramen. Wen lin paired up with me today. we agreed that Vincent's a HIMBO...And plan B starts on wed..work it out baby...I might wanna join touch rugby. I have to decide all these by friday...or mayb wakeboarding whichever I feel...more comfortable with. I might need to look fer somebody that will help me out with it...

Alright...I suppose life in tp is just gonna get better. These year's freshies...I've checked it out...lots of pretty girl. Well..one of em went on stage today. :) oooooh. My eyecandies. :P Haha! okay..nvm about all the pretty girls and charming boys. If I say you've caught my attention everytime...would you stay fer awhile with me? Is it okay if I ask you out?.....

I am quite a scary cat.
shy brat.
bimbo.
cool dude.

when it comes to crushes like these.
but you made my heart flutter like butterflies.

for another instant...flies should totally stay out.
those who take everything fer granted.

I shall wait now.
patience is a virtue?

I wish I could hate you right away.
end up...
it was all disappointment.

so you had a fight.
and again...
I was made your
spare tyres.

I am feeling every bit Karl feels.
I guess...there goes our friendship..
which apparently is the only thing left.
cause the one you thought you can
trust stabs you on tour back over and
over again.

you crap alot..so why don't you just set
up crap business.
sales will be rocket high.
and when you pms/dms..
you crap more.

lucky I am not gonna be the one taking all that crap anymore.
you've said it..

If you have no idea how my ex-girlfriend is like. You should totally catch this.
Oh Soo Jung is exactly like ale.....

Okay. went fer midnight movies with meany vincent and cheryl after new york new york. Played some guitar mania and the arcade.
forbidden city is not very much what I expected it to be..and Jet is a freaking sun wukong in it. and jackie is a freaking old man. tell me about it...
not that bad..what sucked really is that..its an English show....and those chinese were trying gortdamn hard to speak English...spare me.

JOKE OF THE DAY.
I am still laughing about it.
Okay..the sitting arrangement in the cinema was vincent followed by me,cheryl,meanda. The movie was in progress..and it was really dark. Somehow the right side seemed much brighter. Alright...so I saw the arm rest...decided to lean my arms over it.. then I wanted to check if the left side was available. SO I GENTLY stroked the left side...like as though I was looking fer smth..

SUDDENLY.
Vincent : "What are you doing?"
Chrissy:"ZOMG"

I WAS SO EMBARAAAAASSED. explained. omg. omg omg.......

I freaking....stroked his thighs.
cause of his pair of evisu jeans that felt like....
cushion!

hahahahahahahahahahahaa.

                   



A young lady was waiting for her flight at the boarding room of an airport. To kill the remaining time left..she decided to get a book and some cookies. She found a sit at the vip room and made herself comfortable there as she read her book in peace. Beside the arm chair where the cookies lay, a man was sitting next to it. She was reading her book while he was reading his magazine. When she took out the first cookie..the man took out one also. She felt irritated and annoyed but she said nothing. She just thought : " What a nerve...If I was in the mood I would punch him fer daring!" For each cookie she took..he took. This was infuriating her..but she didn't want to create a scene. When only one cookie remained. She thought... :" ah..what would this abusive man do this time.." Then the man took the last piece and broke it into halves. This time she couldn't take it anymore..she grabbed hold on to her luggage and stormed off.

but when she boarded the plane..while looking for her spectacle box, she realised that the packet of cookie she bought was still in the bag untouched. She started to feel ashamed as she was wrong. The man divided his cookies without feeling angry or bitter. Now theres no chance to apologize or explain herself.......

I think....

in life theres four things we cannot recover...

the stone after a throw.

the word after it's said.

the occasion after the loss.

the time after it's gone.

cause whatever you've said this morning...
has hurt me once again...
at the deepest spot.
and you know what.
surprisingly I thought abt it
the whole day out.
I am sorry its not like
I can ever forget it.
what should I do?

Just when I thought I had the best time of the month...you have to ruin it all.
why?
when I look at you now...I am all puzzled up.
cause why..
I think...you are screwed up I am sorry.

have a nice day. :)

the same night at spins. with bff. :)

keep on smiling..let the camera capture every moment we have.
sorry I couldn't make it down the other night.
will make it up to you... :) 

omg. I really love karl. He is so adorable and romantic. needless to say he is every girl's ideal partner.
love him to bits...omg.
Sarang Han Da Myeon
jeong-mal neo-man sa-rang-han-da-myeon
nae on-mam-eul da-hae neo-ha-na-man-eul
sa-rang-han-da-myeon se-sang-ggeut-e-seo-do eon-je-na neo-wa

sa-rang-han-da-myeon mo-du ddeo-na-do
neo ha-na man-eul wi-hae let me be with you

neol sa-rang-han-da-myeon jug-neun nal-gga-ji neo-man-eul wi-hae
neol sa-rang-han-da-myeon eon-je-na neo-wa
a-mu-ri a-pa-do neo-e nun-en nun-mul eobt-do-rog
sa-rang-han-da-myeon neo-man-eul wi-hae

jeong-mal neo-man sa-rang-han-da-myeon
eon-je eo-di-seo-na neol gi-da-ri-myeo
sa-rang-han-da-myeon nu-ga mwo-ra hae-do eon-je-na neo-wa

sa-rang-han-da-myeon mo-du da jwo-dodeo
ju-go sip-eun ma-eum let me be with you

neol sa-rang-han-da-myeon jug-neun nal-gga-ji neo-man-eul wi-hae
neol sa-rang-han-da-myeon eon-je-na neo-wa
a-mu-ri a-pa-do neo-e nun-en nun-mul eobt-do-rog
sa-rang-han-da-myeon neo-man-eul wi-hae

sa-rang-han-da-myeon mo-du ddeo-na-do
neo ha-na-man-eul wi-hae let me be with you

neol sa-rang-han-da-myeon jug-neun nal-gga-ji neo-man-eul wi-hae
neol sa-rang-han-da-myeon eon-je-na neo-wa
a-mu-ri a-pa-do neo-e nun-en nun-mul eobt-do-rog
sa-rang-han-da-myeon neo-man-eul wi-hae..
neo-man-eul wi-hae..

English translation:
If I truly love you alone
I will give all my heart to you.
If I love you, we'll be together, 'till the end of time.

If I love you, when everyone else leave
For you alone, Let me be with you.

If I love you, until the day I die, for you alone
And if I love you, we will always be
When you're crying in pain, I'll dry your tears
If I love you, I'll live for you alone.

If I truly love you alone,
No matter where it is, I'll wait for you.
If I love you, we'll be together, no matter what others say.

If I love you, even when I give all to you.
I want to give you more, Let me be with you.

If I love you, until the day I die, for you alone
And if I love you, we will always be
When you're crying in pain, I'll dry your tears
If I love you, I'll live for you alone.

If I love you, when everyone else leave
For you alone, Let me be with you.

If I love you, until the day I die, for you alone
And if I love you, we will always be
When you're crying in pain, I'll dry your tears
If I love you, I'll live for you alone.
I'll live for you alone.

enjoy.

our hardwork.. our flag. :D meany meany..

first day of camp today. having to wake up that early every morning becomes a chore to my recent body clock that love to sleep the day away and acts like an owl in the night. Hmm and I am seriously tired. Still some work needs to be done. today..creative team finally came together and work as one.. and I am pleased to say we did a good job with the flag..which I will share with you guys when I am back.

haha..its really funny when we come together..
like this conversation...priceless.

chrissy: hey sal what the hell are you looking at? checking out that guy fixing the fan?LOL
Sal: (gives a stupid face) NO...
chrissy: why not you go out there and let him fix you instead..hahahaha..
Sal: what la you...yucks.
chrissy: okay..omg he is coming in with his sexy ladder..are you excited sal?!
Sal: No..I am afraid of heights.
chrissy: no worries..just lay flat on the ground.
WTF.haha I am so lame can.
Issac..meany..me..burst out in laughter..

sal is really funny. damn funny.he says stupid things.
anyway I am glad working with Issac is becoming quite interesting.

hmm..still thinking about last night. I am glad cheryl.w. opened up more to me now. its like I am really comfortable sitting ard at spins and gloria jeans..chilling out...

its your secrets I'll keep.

and omg.. the gls just dashed into the room and shot me. all wet and cold now. neh neh. revenge later. hehe.. innocent knw..sitting here blogging. i have got ice cold water here.hohoho.

okay back to yesterday... we were chating.. Marcus came...Sw..john...sheena..then suhandi came along..the girls calls him the loser.. -_-" Looooser.
anyway marcus is another funny crappy guy. I agree he looks like jeric.
someone donated and bought a pack of tissue..then nobody wanted to keep..so we scissors paper stone...loser keeps it.lol.

g is now the forbidden word.

then we had ice cream before we left..sat back to talk to sw who looks like chalin. omg la.
I think he is a nice guy though. :)
our conversation lasted long enough fer me to have that impression. :)

someone implanted kryptonite in my head.

If I go crazy and will you still call me superman..and if i am alive and will you be there holding my hands..kryptonite..yeah..I'll keep you by my side with my super human strength, :)
you call me strong you call me weak..still your secrets I will keep.even though you took fer granted all the times I have never let you down. you stumbled and bump your head and if not fer me then you'll be died.I took you up and put you back on solid ground.

can I be your superman?

Today..was auditions fer me at the young fashion designer vaunt 3. Hmm..well I wouldn't say it went perfectly, cause it didn't. I felt that it wasn't good enough to show...somehow. So I'ma do my best and flush down some colour together with Meany.  Hopefully, we  make a solid team like what I imagined us to be.

I thought..I was missing someone. All along Ale was there..she has always been sole motivation, my strength and my weaknesses. I felt I was becoming less inspired. How I managed to get in tp...was not entirely because I was capable...it was because I had her support. But then again..i didn't come so far just to lose it all again. I've already lost someone...and I can't afford to lose my dreams to fantasy like this. In the first place..I never thought that love will hit me so soon. If I had a choice..maybe.....
I would rather.........

then again..life has always been fair. My beloved cheryl woon offered to accompany me throughout. I was no longer alone again.

I realised something today.
You see...life doesn't wait for any of us to decide on something..time doesnt wait for us to make our move. Even though I was carrying yesterday's pain in my heavy chest, I knew...I had to move on...and accomplish what I always wanted. Last year I rem telling myself that I would go fer this yr fashion design no matter the cause..
but I hesitated...
then i am involve in National education, racial harmony 10 years logo. and I am not inspired enough..brain conceiting defeat..
fashion designs..are not completed at this point.

God knows what I want.
today...youth empire..(after looking at my beloved portfolio) they say they were impressed. Its my first semester work in vsc. Reza asked if i do webpage designing...I am yet to learn that..so he asked me to design fer their magazine or something. he will send me the details soon.
now I wonder if i can cope.

but you see...life doesn't wait fer anybody.
if it will take every min of my life..let it be.
I believe in myself.
I believe.

then..cruel fact that I will be in camp fer 5 days. I am almost God's left hand now.
theres no leeway. there will be no more break. every min i waste is every hr I will take to finish all these.
okay now I am motivated. self-touched.

its only me, chrissy bitch...against the world.

This year...I've decided to take part again even though my schedule is gonna be flooded with projects. Cause I feel unaccomplished the other time. And I felt that...now that I've the experience..after going thru quite some crap the other time.. I could do better this round.

hopefully, I will win. I have concrete ideas that makes it all complete. :)